GA 017 | Winning Friends and Influencing People with Ron Pereira

Me and My Dad
Me and My Dad

Today’s podcast is a little different from any of our previous shows since, well, I’m flying solo!

My family and I recently took a 3,600 mile road trip which afforded me the opportunity to listen to some audio books.

One of these books is something I’ve long wanted to read but never had… and that book is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.

Initially, you may wonder what this book has to do with continuous improvement… but, I contend, this may be one of the most important books you could ever read if you hope to truly make an impact with continuous improvement or really any aspect of your life.

And, as you’ll hear, this trip was very special to me for a deeply personal reason since my Father passed away shortly after we visited with him.

My Dad taught me so many things… but, perhaps the most significant thing he taught me was that our success in life largely depends on how well we can get along with and influence others which is exactly what this book is about.

So, I am dedicating this episode to my late Father, Dr. Ronald Roy Pereira.  I love you, Dad!

To hear the podcast just press the “Play” button at the top of this post. An MP3 version is also available for download here.  

We’ve also consolidated this episode into an eBook that can be downloaded and read online or offline.  

Here is an outline of the episode broken down by parts and chapters.

Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  • Chapter 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People (5:18)
    • Principle: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
  • Chapter 2: The Big Secret of Dealing with People (7:00)
    • Principle: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  • Chapter 3: He Who Can Do This Hold the Whole World with Him.  He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way (9:12)
    • Principle: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part 2: Ways to Make People Like You

  • Chapter 1: Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere (11:22)
    • Principle: Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Chapter 2: A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression (12:38)
    • Principle: Smile.
  • Chapter 3: If You Don’t Do This, You’re Headed for Trouble (14:11)
    • Principle: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  • Chapter 4: An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist (15:29)
    • Principle: Be good listeners while encouraging others to talk about themselves.
  • Chapter 5: How to Interest People (16:33)
    • Principle: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  • Chapter 6: How to Make People Like You Instantly (17:22)
    • Principle: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Chapter 1: You Can’t Win an Argument (18:53)
    • Principle: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  • Chapter 2: A Sure Way of Making Enemie— And How to Avoid It (19:51)
    • Principle: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong.”
  • Chapter 3: If You’re Wrong, Admit It (20:48)
    • Principle: If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Chapter 4: A Drop of Honey (21:54)
    • Principle: Begin in a friendly way.
  • Chapter 5: The Secret of Socrates (23:30)
    • Principle: Get the other person saying “Yes, Yes” immediately.
  • Chapter 6: The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints (24:36)
    • Principle: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Chapter 7: How to Get Cooperation (25:28)
    • Principle: Let the other person come up with, and implement, his or her ideas!” 
  • Chapter 8: A Formula that Will Work Wonders for You (26:50)
    • Principle: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Chapter 9: What Everybody Wants (27:36)
    • Principle: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  • Chapter 10: An Appeal that Everybody Likes (29:01)
    • Principle: Appeal to the nobler motives.
  • Chapter 11: The Movies Do it. TV Does it. Why Don’t You Do it? (30:26)
    • Principle: Dramatize your ideas.
  • Chapter 12: When Nothing Else Works, Try This (32:02)
    • Principle: Throw down a challenge.

Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  • Chapter 1: If You Must Find Fault, This is the Way to Begin (35:40) 
    • Principle: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  • Chapter 2: How to Criticize — and Not Be Hated for It  (36:22)
    • Principle: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  • Chapter 3: Talk About Your Own Mistakes First (37:34)
    • Principle: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  •  Chapter 4: No One Likes to Take Orders (38:09)
    • Principle: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  • Chapter 5: Let the Other Person Save Face (38:48)
    • Principle: Let the other person save face.
  • Chapter 6: How to Spur People to Success (40:52)
    • Principle: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  • Chapter 7: Give a Dog a Good Name (41:42)
    • Principle: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  • Chapter 8: Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct (43:47)
    • Principle: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  • Chapter 9: Making People Glad to Do What You Want (44:23)
    • Principle: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Podcast Resources

Download This Episode as an eBook

We’ve converted the transcript for this episode into a downloadable eBook.  Simply right-click here and save the file to your computer.

Download a Free Audio Book

If you enjoy listening to podcasts chances are you’ll also enjoy listening to audio books.

And if you’ve never experienced how incredible an audio book is to listen to today is your lucky day since you’re able to download a free audio book over at our favorite audio book provider – Audible.

Simply click this link to claim your free audio book.

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What Do You Think?

Have you read this life-changing book? If so, do you think the things Carnegie taught so many years ago are applicable today?  Lastly, did you enjoy the format and style of this episode?

Ask a Question

If you have a question you’d like us to respond to in a podcast or email please let us know by leaving us a free voice message below. You can also email us if that is more convenient.

 

7 Comments

  1. Sari Vehtari

    August 1, 2014 - 1:16 am

    Thanks Ron! Excellent point about how well we can get along with and influence others is important in continuous improvement! I’ve truly noticed that this work is all about influencing and making friends :). Sari

    • Ron Pereira

      August 1, 2014 - 6:56 am

      Thanks for your kind words, Sari. I’m glad you enjoyed the show!

  2. James Lawther

    August 19, 2014 - 1:51 am

    Ron,

    I’ve also read the book and agree, if you can’t relate to people you are wasting your time.

    The most interesting story for me was that of the test pilot Bob Hoover and the way he reacted to a man who had filled his plane with the wrong fuel (causing him to crash and nearly lose his life).

    First he asked the man to fuel his (other) plane the next day. On the grounds he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. — An interesting take on the impact of blame culture.

    Secondly he went on to develop the Hoover Nozzle, a filling mechanism that prevents the inadvertent filling of a gasoline powered plane with aviation fuel — a nice piece of poke yoke.

    The book has everything to do with continuous improvement. A must read.

    James

  3. David Benson

    January 8, 2015 - 11:59 am

    Hello Ron,

    Good to visit your website! I was referred to your podcast by one of our Dale Carnegie fans in Utah. You may be interested to know that a new version of the book was publish in 2011 named “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age”. It follows a similar format, but with more recent examples and applications. One of the reasons our training has remained relevant for over 100 years is because we are continually adapting and improving – at least that is the goal!

    Let me know if your travels ever take you to Salt Lake City. I’d love to meet you in person.

    Best to you,

    David Benson
    Managing Director, Dale Carnegie Training of Utah

    • Ron Pereira

      January 8, 2015 - 1:03 pm

      Thanks for the comment, David! And I will definitely let you know the next time I am in Utah.

  4. Karsten Speckmann

    May 31, 2015 - 8:10 am

    Ron:
    I have been following and catching up with your enlightening podcast series. Thank you for allowing us, who are not – yet – Lean to get familiar with it.

    This episode was the most inspiring, since. You truly honored your Father by dedicating Dale Carnegie’s wisdom to his legacy flowing through you.

    You inspired me to re-read it. I have “forgotten” to apply some important aspects as life’s hectic way makes us haste through it. Our teams and customers deserve better.

    I am truly grateful for what you and the Gemba Team do.

    Best regards,

    KS

    • Ron Pereira

      June 1, 2015 - 8:18 am

      Thank you so much for your kind words, KS. I really do appreciate them. I’m also happy this episode added value and encouraged you to read the book again!