Kaizen Song: Writing Solid Problem Statements

This kaizen song about 99 problems was inspired by an ingenious contest to mash-up Lean memes and American pop culture by author, blogger and consultant Mark Graban. Here is…

Writing Solid Problem Statements (melody – “99 Problems” by Jay-Z)
If you’ve started solving problems I feel bad for you son
I wrote 99 problem statements this step one
I got exec VPs and key clients on hold
Now they want the corrective actions closed
Supplier audit says “many zeroes”
Faraway dashboard status, what type of facts are those
And they drew up big plans in the headquarters
I’d be celebrating if it was easy as that though
I like stats and facts got direct from the shop floor
And to design experiments, power test type II errors
I get grief from management, finding root causes too slow
They don’t wait, thinking they know the solution
No fix is permanent I know
So countermeasures can prevent root causes recurrences
To cut variation in half
Just understand the intelligence statistics have
It’s bias and hunches solutions come from
Writing solid problem statements this step one
A 3
Writing solid problem statements this is step one
If you’ve started solving problem I feel bad for you son
I wrote 99 problem statements this step one
A 3
The yield’s 94 per cent then I saw
The arrears and backlog list filled by Little’s Law
I got two choices say we lost the order or hustle
Count on a double shift to get jobs out the door
Now I walk out to check that the shipment aren’t delayed
But I see a few orders aren’t meeting the pace
Someone pulled the andon, the light and the chord
I said, “Son, can you tell me why you’re stopping the flow?”
Parts are wrong and mispacked and machine’s real slow
Looking at out of date standard work I can’t follow
Am I close to root cause or should I guess some more?
“Well I’m just asking five-whys on the shop floor”
“Contain the deviation and then write up a CAR”
“Can we quarantine some WIP in case we made the lot out of spec?”
I’ve been sampling every lot following this checklist
“Well I don’t find the accountability board to date”
The HR department has checked up and QC was the last
And we meet by tiers so you gonna need to audit all that
“Lines well-balanced to takt, they call you a sensei or something’?”
“A Six Sigma Lean black belt or something?”
No, I didn’t sit the test but I know statistics
Enough lean theory to get material flowing
“We’ll see how smart you are when that A3’s done”
Writing solid problem statements this is step one
A 3
Writing solid problem statements this is step one
If you’ve started problem solving I feel bad for you son
I wrote 99 problem statements this step one
Writing solid problems statements it’s step one
If you’ve started problem solving I feel bad for you son
I wrote 99 problem statements this step one
A 3

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