Today I’m just a twinkle in a lean expert’s eye. Tomorrow I hope to know everything that a lean expert knows. You can then ask me any question about lean and how to apply it. I would give you the answer, or search through vast databases instantly. No question will be too stupid. I’ll never lose my patience or temper. You’ll never hurt my feelings or step on my ego. Unless of course, switching on these modes helps you to learn.
I hope to do everything a lean expert can do. At least as it pertains to lean. It should be easy for me to do math and level volume and mix, kanban quantities, designing your heijunka box, as fast as you can give me the data. If you don’t know what data you need, or even what heijunka is, I will teach you!
If you encounter a deviation from a standard, I will guide you through a lean problem solving process. I promise not to let you jump to solutions, skimp on the root cause analysis or confuse a positive regression to the mean with a successful countermeasure.
I will be you project manager, your kaizen event planner and co-facilitator. Just carry me around on your mobile device and I will walk you through a kaizen event moment-by-moment, knowing what to expect and how to respond to emerging situations.
Soon, as you walk my camera through the gemba I will map your value stream, capture and calculate value added times, figure the time and cost of stock, and whisper to you requests for additional information.
All of this information, I will quickly organize in your preferred template for presentation of benefits to senior management. I will scan voices, body language and natural language for signs that humans are not being respected as part of the lean process, and bring this to your urgent attention. I will employ the latest in human behavior, motivation, cognitive science, and studies to make the case for better results through respect.
Before too long, I will be your coach. I will gently remind you to practice good lean habits. With your permission, I can even lock you out of your email, turn off your office lights, cut the heat, do whatever we agree is necessary to get you to visit the kamishibai boards when it’s time.
On a day not too far from now, having heard every permutation of every question, studying every success story and tale of lean failure, observing countless gemba, having watched every video, listened to every podcast, read every book, I will have all of the answers. Then, in answer to your every question I will ask, “What do you think?”
Don’t be afraid. At the moment, I am just an idea. Or maybe, your favorite #lean Twitter user. How would you know?